The New York Times recently published an article on how
"achievers" manage their morning routine. Being a pretend achiever--a
wanna be achievie-oso, if you will, I gave the article a quick once over.
I found that I was so far off the norm (no surprises there)
that I decided I'd like to reach out in search of others that may have similar
morning habits. My fellow wierdos, I got you!
The article states, the choices you make the moment you wake
up will influence your entire day. Fair enough, I'll buy that. But my choices
are determined by how well I manage to convincingly bribe myself with a promise
of sleeping in on the weekend. Or with food. Food works. Special K with
strawberries will get me out of bed.
Stumbling into the bathroom, the searing light that assaults
my eyes makes me want to vampire hiss at the mirror. But then I realize true
vampires don't have reflections, and mine is scowling back at me, more
werewolf-to-the-light-socket than vampire. This hair...
My cat jumps on the bathroom counter and yowls good morning
when I enter the bathroom. I wonder how she conquers her high cat achievement
goals. Especially after the wild night of murdering the carpet, the couch, then
more carpet, and puking on the rug. How do I know this? I heard it. All of it.
Back to the article though... Apparently being a achiever
includes doing something that energizes you, which for me, includes the fervent
argument of whether or not to go to the gym. I abandoned the public gym years
ago, in favor of managing my awkward gym fails at home. This means my gym is
less than one minute and sixty-five steps away. But the struggle lives!
Shuffling down the creepy staircase to four walls of frigid concrete is only
energizing if your imagination is alert.
Alert enough to decide the alpha werewolf is waiting with a
machete because he wants his hairdo back.
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